Ramey Writes blogging through life
Triangulation: Morning After – Where now, Slushy?
As you may have noticed, I have been absent from these pages for a few weeks now. This was a confluence (see what I did there? Confluence is Parsec’s annual Pittsburgh SF & Fantasy Convention) of various issues. First, I had reached the end of the slush pile and it was time to get a [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Story 208
Story 208: SF 2200 words 3/15/2012 I’m mostly confused early in the story. It drops us into mid-scene, which is good, but does not provide crucial context for me to ground myself. Who is Mister Clark? Up where? What is the character’s goal? Why does this project exist? I don’t need or want an info [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 204-207
Story 204: Horror 3300 words 3/15/2012 Character wakes up and tries to recall last night. I’m experiencing déjà vu all over again. That said, there’s some excellent writing here, breezy and confident, with a good balance of internal and external experience. This is one of the rare stories where I’ll say I could use a [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 197-203
Story 197: SF 560 words 3/15/2012 An interesting SF satire. Clear prose, enough story experience to carry the piece. I have two issues, however. First, the story ends up being an archetypal “gotcha” rather than a story that opens my eyes to a new perspective. I suspect it will appeal to readers that agree with [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 192-196
Story 192: Fantasy 2440 words 3/15/2012 I’m afraid this one falls into a common pattern. Character waking up (blame the theme, but remember that if you want your story to stand out, it’s best to find a unique way to connect to a theme, in general), a dose of false mystery (he knows what happened [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 188-191
Story 188: Fantasy 5100 words 3/14/2012 This reminds me of stories I used to write. There’s solid craft here, good characterization, an interesting idea, but the story engine is not compelling the reader forward. The opening scenes feel like a day in the life depiction of the relationship, rather than an inciting incident for story, [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 184-187
Story 184: Fantasy 2600 words 3/14/2012 This is yet another story with a character waking, but it’s a very unique version of the trope that fits the story. It’s also the rare story where (I feel) the framing device actually adds to the experience. The story could work without the frame, but the interleaving of [...]
Triangulation: Last Morning – Stories 180-183
Story 180: Fantasy 5900 words 3/13/2012 First person character waking up, though with an intriguing hook. Unfortunately, there’s very little actual story movement after this opening. The idea is explained, background provided, exploration of facets of the idea, some character background given, but no real story until page 18 (or thereabouts) when the secondary character [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 177-179
Story 177: Horror 2390 words 3/12/2012 The opening confuses me. It takes a page or so to gain my bearings. The focus on arranging items is good, but I need more context for the character/setting. That said, the story doesn’t actually begin until the body on page 3-4. That’s the inciting incident and we should [...]
Triangulation: Morning After – Stories 172-176
Story 172: Fantasy 5000 words 3/11/2012 This has the ambition I’m looking for, and it provides a story experience. The payoff is in proportion to my investment. A lot to like, in other words. Unfortunately, I do not feel connected to this character. The emotional dimension is flat, which is particularly problematic in a story [...]
